Posted by: TLC Fellowship | August 6, 2013

God’s Medicine

By Pastor Deborah Reed, Pastor of Life Development at TLC Fellowship

So if we have trouble, it is to bring you comfort and salvation. If we are comforted, it is to bring you comfort from the experience of endurance while you go through the same sufferings that we also suffer. Our hope for you is certain, because we know that as you are partners in suffering, so also you are partners in comfort.  ~ 2 Corinthians 1:6-7 (CEB)

Recently I revealed, for the first time, my very personal struggle to an audience of more than forty women.  As I opened up to the women, I felt a spiritual calmness.  It was then that I became aware that my prayer had been answered. My prayer was and is: “Lord don’t let my suffering be in vain!”

In May of 2000, from outward appearances, I had it all. I had a six-figure income and a six-figure portfolio of stock and real estate.  My professional accomplishments were internationally recognized, and noted in prestigious magazines. My three daughters would graduate high school and pursue education away from home. I held leadership positions in my church and in local and national professional organizations.  I often prayed, “Lord use me!”  I’d always heard that, “To whom much is given, much is required.”  I felt that I had received so much grace from God and I wanted to help as many people as I could.

By July of 2002 my physical body started to fail me. By September of 2003 I couldn’t work. Major surgery was required just to allow me to walk. The physical pain and insomnia made me bed ridden. That gave me plenty of time to ponder what was going on in my head.  My “can-do” spirit of optimism had evaporated.  My ability to make decisions about anything was gone.  I couldn’t make myself focus on even daily care routines.  Life was so dark and cold I felt a constant chill in my bones.

Finally, I got the diagnosis—severe insomnia, post traumatic stress disorder and severe chronic depression & anxiety.  My dominate brain energy is stuck in daydream frequency.  My entire life and the “me” I used to know was gone.   It was replaced with drug after drug after drug, supplements, exercise, therapy, and tests.

I’d be lying if I said I’m back to myself one hundred percent.  But, I will say God has given me a new song to sing—Psalm 40:3. I look into the eyes of people who think there is nobody on the face of the earth who understands what they are going through.  I can tell them, “I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE FEELING!  God has not abandoned you.  You don’t have to live in the shadows.” We become God’s medicine for one another.  I answer questions, I give hope, and I offer paths to healing.  Finally, I am available.   I’m not isolated.  I am not ashamed.  This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d get when I prayed, “God use me”.  But, His grace IS sufficient.   I depend on Him EVERYDAY for EVERYTHING!

Prayer:  Dear God, you promised you’d never leave us, nor forsake us and you keep your promises.

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